


Meet Izard the Lizard

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Library Antics [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Humor, Librarians, Lizards, Spock (Star Trek) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7681894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izard may look like a child's toy, but he entertains the librarians with his antics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet Izard the Lizard

Some child left a four-and-one-half-inch lime green rubbery lizard in the library one day, and the librarians adopted him. His name is Izard and he has exciting adventures. He looks so innocent, but he has a wicked sense of humor. The librarians never know where he will be found, or what he might be doing next. 

Meet Izard the Lizard!

He might look like a child’s toy to many, but don’t let that innocent demeanor fool you. Though vastly underpaid, he is still a vital member of the library staff as he is always on duty to entertain his co-workers. He works for peanuts. Or in his case, whatever flies by the work desk. Izard never seems to get hungry and for some reason, bugs never fly, walk, creep, or shuttle away from Izard. They never see his tongue coming. He’s that quick. Want to see it again? It's just a blur, I know. Human eyes are incapable of detecting motion of that speed. It simply appears to us that he's never moved at all. But can you find the bug? Maybe that's why he always has a mysterious smile on his face. And a little, rounded tummy.

Speaking of his face, there seems to be part of his one jaw missing, back where it should be hinged together. This loss hasn’t seemed to deter Izard’s chewing, however. It might take him longer to chew, and the bugs get to live longer. They probably don’t enjoy that longer life, though, and sometimes it's a little tricky hanging onto them. But Izard copes. He is very versatile for a rubbery lizard.

The librarians really don’t know where Izard came from, since he spins them a very fancy tale about his background. Back home in the desert, he claims, he had a restaurant just off Interstate 40. How he got to the American Midwest, he’s not saying. He still likes to wear his chef's hat in his new library home because it reminds him of one phase of his interesting life. The hat gives him so much style, he says. He is a very rakish lizard, you know. The hat is all of one-high inch tall, made of white paper, and is actually a replica of his beloved hat. Norene fashioned this one for him, but he may tell you a different story of its origin. He likes to be colorful.

One day he had to undergo a lizardectomy at the library, and it was very traumatic for all concerned. Izard had to have a front leg reattached to his body with glue. He never explained how his one front leg was nearly ripped from his body. All he ever does is give his listeners a Spock-like smile when asked. If Izard could, he would raise one eyebrow in homage to his favorite and beloved Vulcan. It should also be noted that Spock is the only Vulcan that Izard claims to know, but we won’t get into that issue now. He is rather touchy about that subject, and we don’t want to upset him. But he has great taste in icons.

Librarian Tim performed the surgery and left Izard out to dry overnight. It was touch and go for awhile, and Izard had to remain very still. This is very difficult for Izard to do. There‘s one small black bug out there somewhere which does not realize how lucky it is that it can still meander around haphazardly. Izard wants that bug to know that its days are numbered, though. He invites that bug back anytime just to sit a spell and visit, maybe eat a little lunch. Izard is very close-mouthed about what would be on the menu, but the librarians figure it would be Black Bug ala Fresco.

Izard wishes to thank his many fans for their concern and inquiries to his condition during that traumatic time in Izard‘s life. If he wouldn't have had it done, he would have only been able to turn in tight circles. And that would've made Izard very dizzy by the third turn, and he might have fallen. But he is all better now and is looking forward to the next time he can make mischief, ah, have adventures with his librarian friends.

Izard is actually a gecko and should probably be named Ecko, but he prefers going by the general name of his family, Lizard. There are some questions about his paternal heritage, however. But Izard is a little touchy about that subject, also, so we won't get into it here. Izard can, if pushed, assume the attitude of a rock star. And then he is VERY difficult to be around.

For some unexplained reason to Norene, she found a carpenter’s level in the drawer with Izard one day. Tim apparently has some library duties under the general heading of “et cetera” of which Norene is unaware. He is quite talented, however. Every year, he paints murals on the wall in the back room of the library for the children to enjoy during summer reading. It is always fun for the other librarians to view Tim’s new work and to speculate on what he will come up with next.

Anyway, Norene decided to use the carpenter’s level as part of a greeting to Tim who would be at work the next day. She draped Izard across the top of the level and left a note in front of him saying: “Izard wishes you a great day, and he’s on the level about that.” The only trouble was that before Tim saw the presentation, the library director Jenny had to have seen it first and read the note. She probably just shook her head and had general thoughts about "some kids grow up while others just grow old." That’s what Ariel and Kayla, two of the other librarians, do. Kayla thinks that Tim and Norene get a lot of entertainment out of that lizard. She says that they are having way too much fun. And she’s probably right.

This past spring was one of Izard’s greatest. After wintering for several months in a dark corner of the middle drawer of the librarians’ work desk, Norene brought him forth with a flourish. She draped him across the top of the computer to show Tim that Izard was back and was ready for adventures. Norene found him protruding from the round hole meant for computer cables to feed into the back of a desk. 

Norene next posed him with a plastic bloody finger orphaned at the library during one past Halloween season. She also left a note saying that this was all Izard could drag away of the road kill he’d found near the Interstate and could get past the door of his lair. The next time she was at the library, she found Izard with his jaws gripping a two-inch plastic foot. Norene left a note demanding: Whose foot is this?!

It should have stopped there. Izard should have gone back into the dark drawer to greet the librarians whenever they opened the drawer, and let that activity become his sole purpose in life. But an idea had been planted in Norene’s mind, an idea about the road kill to be found near the Interstate that runs through the desert near Izard’s lair. What if Izard had a restaurant featuring that road kill? So was born Izard’s Gizzards. Norene decided to share the menu and recreational pastimes of Izard’s Gizzards with Tim. It took awhile to write, but Tim wasn’t in a hurry to read the menu as he did not know it would be presented to him one day. That finally happened in early May of 2016.

A few days later Tim, via Izard, left a present for Norene. It was a miniature book in a soft blue shade and stood two and one-half inches tall. It was actually a post-it note creased in half, but it looked like a book to Norene! She loves miniatures, by the way, especially dollhouse miniatures. The book now resides in her dollhouse. This dollhouse suspiciously looks like a three-shelved bookcase with added mailbox slots, but it fills Norene’s purposes. There’s fifteen spaces providing areas for everything a dollhouse might need from attic storage to an outdoor area.

Tim’s book is entitled “Izard’s Cookery and Hair Tonics,” has a happy face below the title, and carries a copyright date of 2016. Norene’s first comment was, “Izard has a sideline!“ She didn’t question the products used in the hair tonics or how they are obtained. Some things are better left unknown, but Norene is suspicious. She remembers the Izard family tradition that no part of an animal carcass is ever wasted. Maybe, sometimes, it should be.

Upon opening the little book, one can see a cartoon of Mickey (or Minnie) Mouse with exes for eyes, his(her) hands up in surrender, and his (her) tongue hanging out. One gets the idea that Mickey (or Minnie) is no longer with us. On the other side of this graphic illustration appears these instructions:

How to Cook Mickey (or Minnie) 

1\. Mickey or Minnie

2\. Olive Oil

3\. Herbs and Spices

4\. Deep Fryer

There are also hints about other desert animals that were not listed on the menu, including kangaroo rats and field mice. Which is probably what inspired Tim to offer a helpful cookbook for those rodents when available for consumption.

Every day now, Norene and Tim cautiously watch for Izard. There’s no telling what he might be up to next. He just looks innocent when discovered lying in that drawer with his chef’s hat rakishly posed on his head. There’s more than one reason for that evil grin on his face. Sometimes he amazes even Norene and Tim. Norene maintains that Izard gets his zany sense of humor from Tim, but Tim and Izard aren't saying one way or the other. They just smile in that cryptic way they share and go about their business.

Update: Kayla and Norene are leaving the library in 2016. Izard decided to leave also and now resides in the outdoors section of Norene's dollhouse where he is making all sorts of new friends and terrorizing unsuspecting bugs passing by. He is also getting reacquainted with his old friend from the library, the book entitled 'How to Cook Mickey (or Minnie).' But their relationship can only be by e-mail or cellphone. Izard lives on the bottom level of the dollhouse, and the blue cook book is two levels up in the library. But Izard notes smugly (as he knowingly mocks his idol, Mr. Spock from Star Trek), where else would a book be located except in a library?

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of the Disney franchise, including Mickey and/or Minnie Mouse.
> 
> I own nothing of Star Trek or Mr. Spock. Who could, after all, claim to own Mr. Spock, except the inscrutable gentleman himself?


End file.
